The Now

The Now: an irregular stage in life.

Where am I?

Whilst I am as real as I have ever been, and almost realer than I have ever acknowledged, I have never been so lost.

When life brings new things, my ground turns to sand.

The foundations and structure of life slips between my toes. These feet, are they reliable? Will they stay constant through change, unlike my surroundings? Or with they too, change.

This mind I use so perplexingly is such an inconstant matter. Thus; how can ones life ever be stable, when that which is the foundation of ones thoughts cannot be relied upon?

Trust is naivety.

Sad how this has become, such barriers are formed when being realistic. But a broken relationship and a broken family leave me no stable ground to know any different.

And still the hand continues round the clock. Perhaps in its next rotation, the sand in which supports these reliable feet, may turn to rock. A rock in the middle of the ocean, maybe, but the first in a series of stepping stones, always holds the most doubts.

Artistic Expression

Escape

I will please

With such dainty departure

And fall I will not

…Into great seas

Silently silent

This new word is charming

Where bad thoughts quite cleanly

Dissolve in the breeze

Straightforward thinking/

Artistic expression

Daisy lined lanes

Beauty- no question

Return

I will now

With such timid arrival

Catch me now if you will

My mind so Prismatic

My hair all a static

So timelessly time seems so still.

(May 2008)

Dear love,

My heart may always be a little open

But like the sky

Cannot be broken

My thoughts may always be

A little elsewhere

(Torn deeper than his very hands would dare)

But my mind is as fixed as a pretty face

And my future’s a dress;

Embroidered with lace

Perhaps it’s good my eyes failed to see

The wrong that’s sharper

Than eyes could be

My heart may always be a little open

But like the sky

Remains unbroken

A New Realisation

One touch
…And I’m lost

One word
…Then I’m found

Everything’s perfect
But inside I’m drowned

This was a dream
One worth too much
A second of difference
So desperate to touch

There is no right
Could I be wrong?
My mirrors reflection
Refracting a song

Ugly thoughts
Complexity grows
A knot in my stomach
(Nobody knows)

Then with weightless effort
I see new light
Releasing the meaning
To all
Despite

Had it been there not
Would I feel so sweet?
A realisation
Superbly discrete

One note
…And I’m lost

One more
…Then I’m found

All wrong melts to right
All silence is sound.

Shaken into Reality

Shaken into Reality

And there it was…
A tense monotonic silence louder than I had ever witnessed before, shaking the bed below my body.

5.6 on the Richter scale.
Such a trivial event in world news.

Still; the moment the ground moves below our feet, is the moment I reflect reality. Understandably.
So here I sit and write, (completely in control of my every thought) about where I sat in a room so out of control; and pondered the fragility of life.

I shuck to the beat, a metronome of faultless rhythm, so bizarre it rocked me into terror. With every tremor expressions died, cracked like the ground, into a state of distress and utter confusion. An expression too vulnerable for comfort, from those whose position in my life is to protect.

In just a few seconds we were back to reality. Confusion, excitement, amusement. But as the floor remained firm, a flaw became clear; our helplessness to world disaster.

Strange it seems- how something so minor had the ability to shake me into a new notion; where, for those few seconds, existence seemed a novelty.

(March 08)

Pessimism

Why in Gods name did you bring us to being, where ‘being’ for some is a life full of fleeing?

Why create places to poor to survive in, with no choice in which city you come to arrive in?

Why create sleep when gone into too deep can be stolen by nightmares and riddled with creep?

Why would you make it so some couldn’t take it, Give us a heart to then rip out and break it.

Invisibly Bound

There’s nobodies presence
A deafening sound
One metre apart
Invisibly bound

To a past that we’ve shared
The closeness we’ve felt
To the memories had
In this room where I’m knelt

We’ve rewound back to friendship
It’s not a step back
I’m climbing to freedom
I’m not to loose track

Right here we sit
A few inches apart
Those eyes on the screen
That fist round my heart

But like where we are
Expectations are brittle
That clench looses grip
I’m smiling a little

I climb firther to friendship
Still not a sound
One metre apart
Invisibly Bound

I climb further to friendship
Still not a sound
A metre apart

'You never did learn, to let little people grow'